On this Sunday, we tend to focus on the doubt of the disciples. In particular, we usually look to "doubting" Thomas. But I prefer to think he is merely the one whose words we hear. In some ways, his is quite a mature reaction to the Resurrection. He does not allow himself to be swayed by any sort of emotional appeal or sentimentality; this is a faith that is as easily swayed as one's emotions. Nor does he say that he is unwilling to believe the truth of the claims that are being made about Jesus' Resurrection; this would have been a total rejection of all that Jesus had shown them and taught them.
Instead, I think his doubt is based as much on a lack of perceived change as anything else. If Christ came to change the world, to usher in God's kingdom, then where is it. But on the other hand, his doubt is also based on an inability to accept that change. The Resurrection is not a simple resuscitation; the disciples had seen those. Rather it is at once the proof of all that Jesus had lived and taught about God's kingdom as well as the realization that it is not yet here.
While struggling over all that is encompassed here in the disciples' doubt, I kept hearing the words of Paolo Nutini's song in my head. He sings of his inability to sleep at night and the refrain keeps repeating "Why can't we just rewind? Why can't we just rewind? Why can't we just rewind?" This is where I see the disciples in those early days following Jesus' death. On the one hand, they know that Jesus was taken away and killed as a political traitor. On the other hand, these stories are now circulating that he is still alive. Wouldn't it just be easier to go back to where things were before the Crucifixion? Why do things have to change? Why did Jesus always expect more from them than they truly understood? Now they feel as if they are left to pick up the pieces that have been left behind.
Who can blame them for their doubts?
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