The Triduum ~ The End...?

The Triduum, the last three days. Jesus has entered Jerusalem, knowing what is to come, while his disciples are still trying to figure it all out. This is where it is all supposed to happen. Passover...when we remember God's deliverance. Gathered in a small room, Jesus calls the disciples to serve others, to carry on all that he has begun. He again tells them that he will be going on without them, that they will have to continue the works of mercy and healing that he has shown the world. And this call is what I hear every time I hear Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. When the song asks if we will "be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned?...Because one day, I'll leave you" I always think of Jesus' call to continue his work once he is gone. And I respond with the song that "we'll carry on" in the memory of the one who came to save.

Of course, it couldn't end there. Not all of the disciples were happy about things. If Jesus is the Messiah, shouldn't things be different? Why are we traveling around healing people and talking to the poor instead of kicking out the Roman oppressors? Judas had become disillusioned; why, we may never know (at least not this side of heaven). But out of his disillusionment, he betrayed the one he had also come to love. Ani di Franco's song, Dilate, shows just this sort of struggle, the struggle between love and disillusionment, between devotion and betrayal.

And then of course, there is Peter. After Jesus is arrested and taken away, Peter is "accused" of being one of his followers. He is afraid to admit it, and yet he is ashamed once he realizes his denial. I tried to imagine something in our contemporary world that evokes the same feelings of denial and shame. When I heard In Denial by Pet Shop Boys, I knew I had found my song and my example. The song portrays a father who denies that he is gay and feels ashamed both of his sexuality as well as his "need" to deny it. Throughout the song, his daughter tries to encourage him to be true to who he is. Even in a world with greater openness for all people, there are still those who feel they must deny who they are, while at the same time feeling great shame for their denials.

After Jesus has been arrested and abandoned by those he was closest to, he is tried, beaten and nailed to a cross as a criminal. I imagine this must have been the loneliest day of his life, to the point where he feels abandoned even by his Father. But at least he survives. It was a tough choice between two different System of a Down songs for Friday. Chop Suey includes some of the last words of Jesus, but ultimately Lonely Day spoke more of the sense of loneliness that I felt Jesus must have experienced.

And then we come finally to the loneliness of Saturday. It was all supposed to turn out differently. Jesus was supposed to be the one to change things, the Messiah, God's chosen one. But today, he is dead, buried, and the Romans are still in charge. As I thought of the sense of emptiness that the disciples must have felt, I thought of My Immortal by Evanescence. There is just something about the haunting voice, the sense of emptiness and loss, that speaks to what the disciples must have been feeling this day. And yet, in the midst of this we have the ability to remember that Christ is still here. The story hasn't ended quite yet.